While in Russia I felt like God's hand was on the trip! I felt like He was greatly using me and I had a peace and joy about being there I do not think I would have had if they had not have known about my relationship with Sam. The last week and a half Mr. Gothard showed up. When he first saw me he recognized me from our different interactions we have had in the past and said hi nice to see you here. The whole week and a half I kept feeling like he was watching me and wanting to talk to me and I thought I had an idea of what but not for sure. We did talk but it was nothing more than Mr. G. talk like, what did God teach you today and how is this trip ministering to your life, but I felt there was something more hanging in the air! :)
On the last day we were there, they had a Christmas banquet for us before we left for home. I told the Lord, "Okay if it is really meant for me to talk to him then he will come to me." After the banquet I was to help in the kitchen cleaning up and I went out to get some more dishes and Mr. Gothard was standing there talking to a couple people. He saw me and help up his hand for me to wait. I stood there not knowing what to think and a little nervous. He came over and we talked a little bit and then he asked me if there was something on my heart I would like to share with him. My mouth literally dropped open and I said, Yes actually there was. So that night we talked for well over a hour. He had read my appeal and wanted to hear the whole story from the very beginning. Well, in the appeal and while I was telling my story I never mentioned Sam's name. I just said he and him. When I got done I could not tell what he was thinking. He finally sat back and asked me what this young man's name was and I said, Well, it is the Shepherd family. They go to our church (which he knows our church pretty well)....and he said, "Is it Sam Shepherd?" I starred. That is all I could do. I started crying right there in front of him! He knew Sam's family I guess from when Sam's Dad had died because his Dad was so close to Jim Sammons I am assuming. He asked all about Carolyn and Guy and how they were and what they were doing now.
It was a miracle for me! What was really awesome was Mr. Gothard had nothing but good to say about the Shepherd family and about Sam and I after that! He really encouraged me and said he could see God's hand at work in this relationship! He encouraged me not to feel judged by others because of my age or anything and to know that God leads everyone down a different path at different times in their lives!! Of course so many others like Pastor Wells had already told me all this but to have it come from Mr. Gothard....that was HUGE for me! Right then and there it was God writing in HUGE RED INK Sam's name permanently for good on my heart and mind. No part of it was without Sam's name! I will never forget the joy I felt when Mr. Gothard prayed and blessed Sam and I's relationship!! Every time I see God's hand at work now and Satan trying to destroy everything I think back on that prayer! Satan hates it all! Oh how he hates the light we are and will be in the future if we stay in the Lord!! I laugh at it now! I laugh at how pathetic and sick Satan is! He's a disgusting little rat and I hate him with all my guts!! :) It feels good to say that! :)

I could hardly stand to get home and tell everyone what God had done for me! Sam and I started telling people we were in a public courtship after I arrived home as well. We didn't have to say we were just best friends waiting for God's timing but we could say, "Yes, we are in a courtship!" We started talking on the phone about every day and building a deeper relationship that way. At this time I was still in the mindset of at LEAST another year! From the way my parents and Sam talked it just didn't seem possible any sooner in my mind. Little did I know everything going on in Sam's mind!!!

Sam and I went through decisions and struggles during the month of January that were hard and at the time we had difficulty talking about a lot of them in detail because Sam did not want to build expectations in my mind. I think it made things harder for him as far as making decisions about the future because he could not fully find out how I felt about it all. I learned a lot about trusting in the Lord and giving Sam up to Him because I was aware that Sam was feeling some pressure and a little stressed at the end of his work days and having so much on his plate.

I am way behind here! :) All of last year, after Sam came to Dad, Sam and I started getting to know each other very well. At first it was all between Dad and Sam and then about April we started e-mailing once a week. We truly started to become best friends! We went to the Big Sandy Conference 2006 and REALLY got to know each other in leaps and bounds there I believe! I started work at Shepherd Automotive doing the bookwork and Sam was training me in that. He left for Texas to work at Blepo in Ft. Worth the first of July and at first things were really hard for me. I certainly am glad that the Lord taught me so much back in '05 during the fall and winter months when I was uncertain how Sam felt and I was nervous that Dad had told Guy and I was learning to depend on the Lord because if I hadn't had those lessons learned when Sam left ot would have been a bigger blow on me. It went from seeing each other 4-5 times a week to seeing each other on weekends every now and then. I am soooo grateful to the Lord for His love and grace to me! For His faithfulness! Monday nights became the night that I looked forward to all week long so we could e-mail and chat! :)
At this time Sam and I both knew beyond all shadow of a doubt that God was in this relationship and we both felt like we were certainly the one for each other but we were keeping those words kind of to ourselves at this point. I thought it was going to be a long time before anything serious, serious happened so I was keeping my expectations and peace in the Lord!

Sam came home a lot more on the weekends by now and he started setting with our family in church in September. Oh something else was I had sent my application in for Russia at this point. I had had to send an appeal to get to go though since I was in a relationship/courtship and that was one of the "fine prints" on the application to get to go! That info will be important later in my story here! :) Sam started spending a lot of his weekend at our house and doing things with our family.
I was accepted to go to Russia and we were very careful how we conducted ourselves because of that! We all agreed that when I got home we would announce a public courtship. This whole time we had both been talking to people besides our parents and getting advice and wisdom and guidance from them. Sam had talked to Pastor Wells several times and Jim Sammons as well. I had talked to several married young woman who had been through all this and gave me prayers, encouragement, wisdom, love and support! I believe too that that had a HUGE impact on keeping my expectations in the Lord and trusting in His plans and not presuming upon the future! God was so good to me during this time! I was completely excited about what He was doing and was enjoying where we were at that point in the relationship realizing that we would never have that again! You can never go back and redo your time and I did NOT want to ever look back with regret! I know I sure don't right now!